For immediate help at any time, please call us on 03300 564456  (24 hour)

Thinking about leaving?

Person with dark hair gazing out the window of a car.
Person with dark hair gazing out the window of a car.

If you’re thinking about leaving your abuser, we can help you to understand your options and make a plan. 

Planning it doesn’t mean you have to carry it through immediately – or at all. But it may help to be able to consider all the options and think about how you could overcome the difficulties involved.

In addition to getting support, you might want to consider:

Create an emergency bag

If it is safe to do so without your abuser noticing, keep a bag with some cash, important documents (including birth certificates, passports, marriage certificates, tenancy/mortgage/car documents, ID documents, National Insurance Number, driving licence), a set of keys, some clothes (for yourself/your children), any medication, phone charger and emergency numbers. This could be kept safe at a neighbour or friend’s house, so you can leave in a hurry and still have your essentials.


Make a plan

Think about your partner’s routines and choose a safe time to leave your home. Consider where he will be, and plan a safe route. Try to ensure you have your own key to the house and keep some money saved for taxis or bus fares, and telephone calls.

Consider how you will collect things that may be precious to you/your children, if you can do so safely, e.g. favourite toys and clothes, pictures, jewellery.

If you have children at school, make sure that the head and all your children’s teachers know what the situation is and who will be collecting the children in future.

Arrange a place to stay

This might be the home of a trusted friend or family member, but make sure your abuser doesn’t know the location. Or you might want to go into a . As a woman fleeing domestic abuse, you can seek housing advice from any local authority even if you do not live in the local area.

Consider ways they might track you

It is important to think about all the ways your partner might be able to find out where you are. For example, if you think your abuser might have access to your phone or messages, you could use a friend’s phone to make arrangements to leave, or buy a cheap ‘burner phone’. Similarly, you may need to delete any searches related to looking for support on your internet history. You should also turn off any geo-location settings on your phone. The Safety Project has more tips on keeping your technology safe and reducing the risk of tracking

Hand gripping a black door handle.

Safety when getting ready to leave

This safety plan may help you if you are thinking about leaving. You can download, save or print this safety plan, but please remember to do so safely and to be certain your abuser cannot access this information. 

You can print this document and give it to a trusted friend or relative to take care of if you are living with your abuser.

Call us

Our support staff can offer advice via 03300 564456 during office hours (Mon-Fri 9.30am-4.30pm). Outside of office hours, our phone number can be used to access urgent information and advice.

Request a call back

Link in with our support services team in your area

Explore our services

We offer a range of support services for adults and children who have experienced domestic abuse or sexual violence

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