4 years at the EVI for Our Blaenau Gwent Hwb

This year commemorates the fourth anniversary of the establishment of our Blaenau Gwent Hwb at the EVI. In honour of this milestone, we are highlighting the invaluable services we offer to the community of Blaenau Gwent.  

With a dedicated team of 16 members, we are deeply committed to providing high-quality support to individuals in Blaenau Gwent who are seeking support after experiencing any form of abuse. 

Our range of services includes 8 units of VAWDASV refuge/move-on accommodation, among which is a specially designed flat equipped to accommodate men in need of support.   

Where do I begin to express my gratitude towards Cyfannol and the wonderful women working there?

I was in my abusive marriage for 22 years. I always knew there was something not right about it but never knew what exactly. When I would try to explain how I was feeling it was misunderstood by so many people and I didn’t know how to articulate it very well either. I spent many years going back and forth to the doctors with anxiety and depression. At one point, I even questioned whether I had bipolar due to massive cognitive dissonance from years of gaslighting and manipulation.  

Having come from a toxic background, I didn’t know what healthy relationships looked like and was told “that’s just men” and “it could be worse”. I was in despair. By the time I contacted Women’s Aid, my confidence was at rock bottom; they were my last hope. 

I was given my support worker, who spent hours with me, listening, validating, and teaching me what toxic and abusive behaviour looks like. When I first started support, I never dreamed I could leave my husband, as I had tried on several occasions, but never felt strong or confident enough. I was trapped and drowning fast.  My support worker sign-posted me to Own My Life course, where the facilitator did an amazing job in educating us on manipulation and abusive tactics – most of which I could unfortunately relate to well. My support worker supported me in obtaining a property, as I was soon to be homeless, after being given notice on my property.  

After years of financial abuse, I was so scared and didn’t have the knowledge or confidence to apply for benefits. It was all so overwhelming that it almost felt safer to stay in the marriage. I was petrified of letting my children down. My support worker supported me with all this every step of the way. She referred me to Horizon Counselling to help me work through years of trauma and conditioning. With all this combined, this is where the happy part of my story starts to kick in: my counsellor referred me to the Boost project. 

This brings me to where I am today: a happy, strong, independent woman and loving stable mother. We are now on our way to getting our lives on track and living with freedom and without anxiety, confusion and dread. In the 17 months I have been away from my toxic marriage, I have managed to go back to education to work towards building a career. I am working towards obtaining an NVQ with the Boost project. I am also in a loving and supportive relationship. The support, courses, and trauma counselling have helped me to recognise and seek out healthy behaviour over toxic traits. 

With support from Ar Trac for my children, to help with the lasting effects of being brought up in an unhealthy toxic household, we can shut the door on the past and embrace a healthy, bright future. Another valuable service that I am grateful for. 

I cannot emphasize enough how none of this would have been possible if not for Cyfannol Women’s Aid and their constant support. I will always carry with me the effects of the abuse I suffered, but with the right support and guidance, I now have the tools and knowledge I need to live a happy and fulfilled life, despite it.